Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
