I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Randomize
