Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
