And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
