If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
