youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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