in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
