super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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