I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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