I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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