Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
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