Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
