those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
