I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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