help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
