Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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