if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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