I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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