Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
this just has baby written all over it
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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