Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
