FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Randomize
