when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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