Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Randomize
