I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
