Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
