Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Mom said you looked used
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
