Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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