He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Randomize
