Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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