It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
