i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
