There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
