why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
