grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Randomize
