like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
All the doctor said was why
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
