she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
