the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
