Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
