Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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