i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
a search helicopter?!
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
