I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
