I just cut my nipple shaving
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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