You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
