come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
tell me about the eggs
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