I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
