i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
