garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I wish i was in the wii world.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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