Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
