I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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