there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
